It’s Tuesday morning and you’ve exchanged small talk in the kitchen with Hannah about her miniature dachshund while making coffee – silently screaming at the kettle to boil faster. You move over to sit at your desk and chug through the routine of asking Pete, Melissa, and Harry – 

 “How was your weekend?”

“Yeah good, you?” 

“Yeah, good!”

Maybe you work remotely and don’t really know anyone that well, apart from the person who smirks in recognition at your subtle eye roll on group video calls. Maybe you work rota shifts and your day depends on whether you’ll be slinging coffee with your mates or Emma whose rabbit hutch collapsed in the storm in the night meaning she’ll be 3 hours late.

Then the door opens and in walks your shining light. Your work best friend. Do you talk outside of work? Rarely. Do they know everything about your personal life? Yes. Can they name your family members looking at a photo? Auntie Margot is looking great after the chemo. Do they know your full medical, dating and workplace history? You bet.

Our workplace contentment is super dependent on our workplace relationships. Research shows that having friends at work provides job satisfaction, higher productivity and emotional support with personal or workplace issues. Don’t underestimate the possibility of forming genuine friendships at work. I still adore friends I made from previous jobs. Going through hardships brings you closer together. 

But what happens when the day comes – and they hand in their notice? They’ve been talking about leaving but you didn’t think they’d actually do it. You’re overcome with feelings of betrayal. How could this perosn who knows so much about you leave you alone in this place? Who will you moan to? Who do you escape for a secret coffee with? After work drinks? Lunchtimes? This is the moment of truth. Will you ever speak again? Have you built a true friendship or will the hours spent together be reduced to cursory social media interaction. 

Will you spend that one time together outside of work to realise that the only thing that bound you was the misery of your work experience and when you sit in the pub on a Thursday evening you have nothing to talk about because they’re not interested in what Mark from Sales got fired – they’ve moved on. Maybe it’s time you did too?

It's a tough reality but this acceptance is a part of your personal and professional growth. Don’t stay stuck! Read How To Start Again.