If you were after some real insightful commentary on the Incel movement and its impacts on women around the world, I’m afraid you’re in the wrong place. This one is all about being chronically online, crawling forums, and loving Rick and Morty in the most self aware way possible. I was a niche internet micro celebrity on Tumblr back in the day, and now I’m a fully fledged, almost anonymous internet princess. So here’s the most iconic piece of girl-blogging ever written, all about being every chauvinistic pig’s worst nightmare and looking sickening doing it.
2023 is the year of being ironically hot.
Q: How can you tell LJ wrote a blog?
A: When there’s a needless definition section ofc!
Not that it really impacts this article too much but I bet you’re wondering - what the fuck is an Incel?
def. In(voluntarily) Cel(ibate)
1. A member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active.
2. Men who hate to see a girl boss winning
As fun as it is to laugh at Incels and their views on women (I mean if you didn’t laugh you’d cry so it’s for sure the better option), this is a deceptively dangerous group. From fuelling hatred to taking action in order to create a ‘perfect society’ in their warped view, Incels have taken violence against women from behind a screen into the real world. This blog is for me to be unapologetically unhinged on main and encourage others to do the same. It’s time to be hot, awkward, and all-round superior to men in the name of IRL satire.
Femcels VS Incels
Okay, so you caught me. The title of this blog is misleading, I just wanted some clever wordplay. I don’t identify with the term Incel, but rather with its hot, sexy, mysterious, very different cousin; Femcel.
Although the two words sound similar, they’re almost polar opposites: whilst Incel men hate that they can’t have sex and therefore hate every woman on Earth for sleeping with anyone who isn’t them, modern Femcels are women who joke about the fact that their interests make them undesirable, and while the real die hard true Femcels on websites like "The Pink Pill" express anger and contempt for men as well as for ‘clueless’ pretty girls. They don’t shit-post about rape and murder.
Let's break it down like this:
Women are victims of many, many, many complexes. The Madonna/Whore complex, the Cinderella complex, the Ophelia complex, the Electra complex - the list goes on. For pretty much all of recorded history, women have been seen as an either or; like we’re either beautiful or we’re smart, can’t be both - you get the gist. The Femcel movement pokes fun at these kinds of ideas, and (sort of) jokingly idolises violent or hysterical fictional women who go to extreme lengths undoing the damages done to them by society, including things like beauty standards, sexual stigmas, and low academic expectations.
It’s like when you realise how fucked up it is that women are criticised for their natural looks against a universal and fully westernised beauty standard. Whilst men watch masses of porn, complain that makeup is deceptive, cosmetic surgery is false advertising and that women exploit men with their beauty. Then convince themselves the woman they slap in bed have unresolved sexual trauma, but it's not their fault. Fuck that, I don’t want people like that to desire me. So I made myself totally un-fuckable to every man on earth with that mindset.
Ugly On Purpose?
‘What’s the obsession with becoming ugly?’ you ask. Well it’s less about being ‘ugly’ and more about playing into alternative beauty standards. Even more than that, it’s simply a way of stating that being sexually desirable isn’t enough for you, like girlie, you are a well rounded human being with hobbies and interests and talents. There is so much more to being a woman than being deemed worthy of getting jizzed in, on, or around. Being just the person a man is willing to ejaculate into is like being a toilet - a pretty dehumanising experience. I want more than that, and you should too.
Why is an aesthetic so important to something as deeply emotional as that?
Well, as The Atlantic puts it, “women are ‘reclaiming involuntary celibacy’ and asserting their right to give a name to their loneliness and alienation.” It’s this loneliness and alienation that defines the current Femcel upsurge we’re seeing online, and that explains why it’s moved to a new home on the internet. While Femcels have existed on Reddit since 2012, and on the internet since 2004, new Femcels have flourished on popular social media platforms, where it can be communicated not through tortured posts about being overlooked by men and self-hatred, but rather through a post-ironic, self-conscious embrace of aesthetic feminine toxicity. It’s not just Femcel anymore, it’s Femcelcore.
For New Era Femcels, identifying as such is less about complaining about societal misogyny and toxic beauty standards, and more about rejecting toxic standards for women entirely. If Incels are the perfect distillation of toxic masculinity, Femcelism is, at least aesthetically, its opposite. The term goes hand in hand with other post-ironic, quintessentially online terms like ‘toxic femininity’ and proudly identifying as terms which would have traditionally been used against you, such as being a ‘female manipulator’ (a genre which has its own musical canon and is exemplified by manipulative, villainous or emotionally toxic characters like the narrator of My Rest and Relaxation, or Fleabag). Femcelism is a way of reclaiming the words and ideas that were once used to hurt you, and spinning them into something that makes you even more powerful.
We’ve all consumed fuck tonnes media that has exposed us to this weird portrayal of women who express negative emotions, like rage and anger, as inhumanly possessed and frenzied. Y’know the fairytales, where jealousy can lead a queen to be heartless enough to kill an innocent young girl, or in ancient Greek mythology, where mothers kill their own kids to take revenge on their cheating husbands. These trances that seem commonplace in women on page and screen are also found in instances of Hindu goddesses’ possession of women in South Asia as a result of rage. In many of these stories, often folklore but sometimes a reality, this rage is instigated by injustices against women; honor killings, sexual harm or female infanticide. Women are often guilted for being emotional. Men love to make jokes about how women can’t make decisions due to how emotional we are. In protest, Femcels embrace and idolise feminine rage.
In reality, women’s anger is a force rarely seen but so powerful that it touches every aspect of our daily lives. Each time a woman walks into a voting booth, swipes her credit card, or uses birth control, we see the power of centuries of angry women. Feminine rage is power. This leads us to the Femcel obsession with women in horror, which stems from the idea of freely expressing emotions, no matter how insane others might think you are. A key example of feminine rage in horror is Dani in Midsommar; we all hated her boyfriend from the start and despite the horrific things that have happened to him, we're stoked for her by the end of the movie.
I also love to reference Annie from Hereditary as a key example of feminine rage - she feels so many emotions following the loss of her daughter, and is viewed as insane and dangerous by the men in her life, despite her being completely correct about every single supernatural happening in their lives. She is disbelieved and demonised due to how strong her emotions are, and the first time I watched this movie with some of my male friends, they all said they found Annie to be super annoying. That was crazy to me. Feminine rage and emotional transparency are something that men just don’t seem to get a lot of the time, and if men don’t get it, of course Femcels love it.
Embracing your inner Femcel doesn’t mean you have to do anything drastic (although bleaching my eyebrows and getting my lip & nose filler dissolved were some of the best decisions I ever made), it just means letting go of societal expectations that have held you back from finding your own ideas of beauty and femininity, and raising your fucking standards. Think of it as like a sexual Bechdel test - if a man values your appearance or sex appeal over all other aspects of your being, he fails the test and isn’t worthy of your time or your pussy. If all you two talk about is sex, same applies. You don’t have to abstain from sex to be a Femcel, be picky about who you’re having sex with.
So wear your pantsuit even if men hate pantsuits, in fact, wear it because men hate them. Cut your hair, get a piercing, wear the heels that make you 6 foot 5, be the smartest person in the room, watch terrible sad-boy tv shows and laugh at how dumb they are, only watch movies with strong female leads, don’t date men who watch loads of porn, do whatever the fuck you want and don’t let anyone try and stop you. We’re not just surviving anymore - we’re thriving, and we’re not about to sacrifice our success and wellbeing to try and fix losers by being something warm to spunk in.