I swear that the most efficient way to get over someone you’ve been hung up on for ages is to picture them running after the bus WITH A BACKPACK on their backs. I dare you to try this and not get an immediate ick for that person. I don’t really know what it is, but I just can’t take an adult seriously if they’re carrying a backpack. You know how Lily-Rose Depp has this je-ne-sais-quoi that makes her so imperfectly perfect? My theory is that backpacks have the exact same quality but in reverse, a je-ne-sais-quoi that makes them oh, so cringe.

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If you, as me, are in desperate need of figuring out what makes the backpack so cringe I invite you on board for this quest: what is it about them and, can they escape it?

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I know this doesn’t make any sense because I’m literally conflating two totally separate things: I’m saying that appearances and style are one and the same with competence and faculties. Which is just not true, I know. I also want to make it very clear that, every once in a while, when inescapable and as my last resource, I do carry a backpack. And I hate it… Not only do they look like they fit more than they actually do, the straps are so uncomfortable, they make your back sweaty and they’re just so impractical.

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I avoid it as much as I can, but when there’s no alternative, I feel so unappealing when carrying a rucksack. I feel like it makes me walk funny and take so much more space -which can also come in handy for protection when you’ve got a suspicious looking man standing just a bit too close to you on the tube.

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We all have to admit, though, that as cringe as backpacks are, they are also a great way to carry stuff without having to switch shoulders every half an hour because your tote bag is WAY too heavy, but you’d rather look “cool”. Remember this is a non-judgmental space, especially since I’m guilty of both: waking up really sore from an overloaded tote bag and being totally cringey carrying a backpack around London.

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Apparently for a backpack to be considered good, it has to fulfil three categories: comfort, storage and versatility. And looking at these three elements together, it starts to make more sense why there’s no space for them to not be cringe. It’s one of those things that you can only choose three out of four or two out of three i.e. food cannot be fast, good quality and cheap or high waisted jeans cannot be cute, cheap, good quality AND comfortable. Backpacks chose comfort, storage and versatility, hence cool had to be dropped.

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But you know what? That’s okay because life is all about compromising and being okay with it. Not everything in our lives should serve the same purpose and not everything in our lives is meant to elevate our style and social attractiveness, especially when (repeat after me) “What truly matters is what’s on the inside”. Some things in life are just there to make it a bit easier for us and, quite frankly, I think that’s great. Life is already pretty hard as it is, why make it harder on ourselves by carrying a duffel bag all across town up to the point where you feel like your arm might fall off?

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Let us embrace the cringeness of backpacks and enjoy its practicality. Especially because in today’s day and age there are limitless styles, designs, fabrics, size, colours, shapes, EVERYTHING for you to choose from. Now that you’ve decided to drop any self doubt around how silly you’ll look wearing a rucksack, let your true self loose and discover your favourite cringe element!

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