Water is having an identity crisis.

Water used to ask so little of us. No caffeine, no collagen, no protein.

No agenda. Just “drink me".

Carrying a plastic bottle became a fashion accessory. Then it became socially unacceptable to use a plastic bottle. Then we got addicted to the Stanley Cup. Then that became a display of gross overconsumption. The plastic bottle was replaced by the can but no matter how many times you wash it — your old Chilly’s bottle smells like mouth. Where do we go from here?

Previously

In the beginning, there was Perrier. Evian and Smartwater.

Then in the 2010s we put photos of Fiji water on our Instagram with the valencia filter.

2015 the golden era of IG

Such a good time

And in 2025 we have Orka — a caffeinated still water that describes itself as "the energy drink that tastes like water." It comes in a clear can and contains roughly 4x the amount of caffeine in a standard can of Coke. Orka positions itself as “clean energy”, as if other caffeine sources are somehow morally compromised.

In fairness, Monster energy probably has some crimes to answer for.

We can't try this yet as it's US-based, but if that naughty clear can makes its way to the UK, you can bet we'll be trying it.

Clear Energy Water

Orka Water

Then of course, there’s sparkling water, flavoured water, water in a can, water in a carton, collagen water, electrolyte water, vitamin water (still clinging on), magnesium water and adaptogen water. Protein water for the hydrating gym bros. Brands like Vieve and WOW HYDRATE selling 20g of protein in a liquid that looks like it tastes vaguely of the inside of your gym bag. It’s for people who want to bulk and hydrate at the same time, because eating eggs and chicken is too taxing and gym goers no longer have time to chew?

It’s no longer enough just to drink a glass of water. Your hydration now comes with a LinkedIn Premium account! And they’re trying to upsell you on why you need a gold badge next to your name too!

Liquid Death, destroyer of the water worlds, entered the market with flaming skulls and a promise to “murder your thirst.” For people tired of the wellness matrix, Liquid Death was a big middle finger in a can. It looks like an energy drink, sounds like a band, and says absolutely nothing about nootropics. They’ve made a temporary pause to their UK distribution, but we got the community trying it before they could vanish from the shelves.

Trying It: Liquid Death

We’re partnered with Watch Humans Try It — a place for real people to leave video reviews of food and drink brands, no fakeness, no influencers, just honesty.

Join the community of humans who try things! Because no matter what people on Linkedin think it’s actually your (the consumer who isn’t trying to sell the product) opinion that matters the most. ❤️

Join Watch Humans Try It

Final Sip

Call me Brita, because I’m a water purifier. You will probably be okay without the water that has 12 ingredients, costs £32.99, and has no discernible flavour, but if you try any of them, we’d love to know.

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