the really good guide to women’s health

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queen victoria used to soak tampons in opiods to help deal with menstrual cramps, meaning her pussy was fully lost in the sauce. here’s the modern version of that.
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4 really good zen things

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it’s time to calm the fuck down (in a cute way). focus on the now, and number 1 (that’s you) with these really good relaxing finds.

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quiz

what’s up with the gunk in your trunks?

is it thrush, is it BV, is it chlamydia?
or are you just a hypochondriac?

so it’s a bit rough in the body basement right now, i get you. we’ve all been through those horrid old times when it looks like you’ve dragged your knicks through a tub of Philly* cheese and let it get all #crustay, but what the fuck does it mean? we’ve devised this highly scientific quiz to help you determine whether you need to be making an awkward phone call to an ex or it’s just a cheeky prescription type situation.

#more sustainable cheese spread is available

so not to like, gross you out or anything, but which one of these totes tasty foodstuffs looks the most like your discharge?

Guacamole
Salad Dressing
Tofu Scramble
Cottage Cheese
Is there blood in your discharge?
Is your discharge clear or light in colour?
Is there an unusual smell?
Does it hurt to go piss, girl?
Are you being really brave even though your tummy hurts?
Is your discharge free from lumps, clumps, n bumps?
Is there an internal itch you just can’t scratch?
Does it itch on the outside?
Does it feel a bit like you’re peeing out pure acid?
Is your menstrual cycle still pretty normal for you?
Is your discharge a bit watery?
Is there stinging when you’re getting dicked down?
a. you might have chlamydia

acid pee?

if you’ve said yes to those symptoms, it’s probs time to get checked.

we’re not medical professionals, but we are seasoned chlamydia-havers.

stop screaming.

it’s an easy fix, take it from our resident doctor.

you'll be reet ar kid
b. you’re probably fine

discharge is weird.

stop spending time searching your symptoms. nobody knows your bod better than you do, so if you feel like something is off, pick up a test from your local pharmacy, or a  visit to your GP can’t hurt. especially if you’ve got a really fit doctor who’ll be all up in your beef sarnie.

c. what's that smell?

it’s Bacterial Vaginosis!

maybe.

sorry gurl, but that occasional whiff of burning electrical wire might be coming from you.

Don’t stress, a quick trip to the pharmacy will get you cleared up in no time.

d. time to grab the hairbrush!

it could be thrush!

we definitely don’t recommend scratching yourself with a hairbrush, but we’d be lying if we said we’d never done it

if you’re itching like a dog with fleas, go buy some Canesten.

you’ll feel better.

*disclaimer we are not medical professionals. some, if not all, medical advice from really good culture should be ignored.

a. you might have chlamydia

acid pee?
if you’ve said yes to those symptoms, it’s probs time to get checked. we’re not medical professionals, but we are seasoned chlamydia-havers. stop screaming. it’s an easy fix, take it from our resident doctor.

you'll be reet ar kid
b. you’re probably fine

discharge is weird.
stop spending time searching your symptoms. nobody knows your bod better than you do, so if you feel like something is off, pick up a test from your local pharmacy, or a  visit to your GP can’t hurt. especially if you’ve got a really fit doctor who’ll be all up in your beef sarnie.

c. what's that smell?

it’s Bacterial Vaginosis! maybe.
sorry gurl, but that occasional whiff of burning electrical wire might be coming from you.
Don’t stress, a quick trip to the pharmacy will get you cleared up in no time.

d. time to grab the hairbrush

it could be thrush!
we definitely don’t recommend scratching yourself with a hairbrush, but we’d be lying if we said we’d never done it. if you’re itching like a dog with fleas, go buy some Canesten. you'll feel better!

podcasts

girls in tech (coming soon)

the wherefrom girlies put the world to rights over brews and bevvies, talking everything from fan-fiction to totes awks period mishaps.

literally  the best podcast ever made (we’re not biased, we promise).

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ADAM & DAVE CHAT SHIT (WITH FRIENDS!)

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